My work kinda sucks. We are in the midst of our busy season, and our pool & hot tub have been shut down by the state inspector for multiple violations including unsatisfactory chemical levels, unsafe water, and poor pool operator knowledge (by pool operators I guess he means the janitors, who posed as pool operators during the inspection). Plus, we are repeat offenders. I can't remember an inspection that did not result in us getting shut down, and still we fail to do what must to be done to keep our pool open. Of course, management's reaction (just like the last few times this happened here) is to accuse the inspector of having an obsessive vendetta, though it seems to me that even if he was out to ruin us we would know that by now and take extra precautions to insure that we meet his standards, no matter how outlandish they may be. The numerous shut-downs may support the theory of vendetta, but I'm just not buying it. Anyway, instead of trying to fix the violations my boss decided that the inspector sucks, not us, and that we should ignore his orders (and the big orange "Pool + Spa Closed by the State of Oregon" sign he bolted to the gate) and just leave it open anyway. By "we" he means me, since my owner and boss are never around and I am the only employee on the property during my 3-11 shifts.
I refused to leave it open, and my thinking is this- If the inspector does have a crazy grudge against this place, what is stopping him from coming back unannounced to see if he can catch us red-handed? And if my boss is willing to blatantly break the law and disobey orders from the state, how can I trust him to have my back if a sticky situation arises? Would he take responsibility, or would he throw me under the bus and deny that he ever gave the order to leave it open?
I decided not to find out (I think I already know the answers), so I guess I'm the asshole around here right now. I told the boss that I don't disagree that the inspector sucks, and that our pool very well might be totally clean and safe for swimming, but that is all beside the point. I said that while I am at the front desk I will obey the state orders, reasonable or not. I am not the morality police, but I am also not in a position to afford a hefty fine or worse. He wasn't happy...
The next day I arrived for work and saw that the pool gate was not only open, but completely covered in towels (to hide the sign). I had to close it all over again, much to the dismay of all the guests who were already enjoying the forbidden fruits. I wish the inspector had just locked the damned gate himself, but maybe he was tempting us to open it so he could lay his pent-up vengeance upon us?!
I don't care either way. Pretty responsible and adult of me, huh? What's wrong with me lately?
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
My Only Mohammed is Ali
Is the Muslim religion really a peaceful & misunderstood way of life that has a bad reputation based solely on the words & actions of fringe extremists? The short answer is, no. The more I see or read about brutal crimes happening in the US, the more I learn about how 23% of the world's population lives. There is no shortage of Muslim criticism around, but here is my shorthand version of why the religion sucks-
Women get treated like dogs. Get raped? Death penalty. Love your husband? So do his other 7 wives. Have an opinion? Death penalty. If your husband wants to beat you up, the only rule is no broken bones, and you do not have a say in whether, when, or where you have sex.
If a father believes his daughter has embarrassed him or the family, it is his duty as a Muslim to MURDER her. This scenario has happened in the United States (in one instance, a Muslim American father purposely ran over & killed his daughter & her friend with a Ford Explorer because he saw (non-trivial--fully clothed) facebook photographs of her with male and female friends.
I don't believe that it's our job to police the world, and I don't think that everyone should believe in the same things, but I will definitely be happy to see changes made in the middle east. And as for the US, right or wrong we do things differently here, and we don't take kindly to abusing animals or human beings, so be ready to join your wife's suffering sooner than later if you bring it to our house. AMERICA! YEAH!
Women get treated like dogs. Get raped? Death penalty. Love your husband? So do his other 7 wives. Have an opinion? Death penalty. If your husband wants to beat you up, the only rule is no broken bones, and you do not have a say in whether, when, or where you have sex.
If a father believes his daughter has embarrassed him or the family, it is his duty as a Muslim to MURDER her. This scenario has happened in the United States (in one instance, a Muslim American father purposely ran over & killed his daughter & her friend with a Ford Explorer because he saw (non-trivial--fully clothed) facebook photographs of her with male and female friends.
I don't believe that it's our job to police the world, and I don't think that everyone should believe in the same things, but I will definitely be happy to see changes made in the middle east. And as for the US, right or wrong we do things differently here, and we don't take kindly to abusing animals or human beings, so be ready to join your wife's suffering sooner than later if you bring it to our house. AMERICA! YEAH!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
ouch
My poor old grandpa called yesterday to inform us that his storage unit had been robbed. At first I thought maybe he forgot his unit number or he was confused or something but it turns out that the lock was removed in the night, along with OVER 250 POUNDS OF SILVER he was hiding in there. He is 90 years old, and he doesn't trust anybody. He hates doctors, policeman, banks, & especially insurance companies because he thinks they're all out to rip him off, so he decided to secretly keep over $900,000 worth of silver coins in an UNINSURED (and really sleazy looking) storage unit facility. His collection was appraised at $40,000 in 1973, when an ounce of silver was worth about $1.50. Today an ounce of silver is worth about $40. It sure smells fishy to me (only his unit was burglarized), and it must be tough to fence a million bucks worth of silver coins and shit, but I expect that we won't be seeing any of it ever again.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Oops
Anybody remember when I claimed that I was going to review an album every week? Boy that did not work out at all. I am super disappointed in myself. Also, coming up soon...My top 10 albums of 2010! For real...nobody reads this anyway
Friday, December 17, 2010
10 For 2010
I like music. I like lists. Here we go.
10. Surfer Blood--Astro Coast
A very hooky, easy to like surf album (sounds like a young Weezer.) The lyrics are ok if lacking substance, but the songs don't call for poetry. The melodies are familiarly memorable, and the sweet strat riffs though simple, are solid. From a band that existed for barely a year at the time of this release, Astro Coast screams confidence without a whisper of arrogance.
9. Caribou--Swim
Dan Snaith (Caribou) wanted to make music that sounded like water, so he did, and as it turns out, water sounds a little depressed. The record has a melancholy feel to it, like a James Murphy album, and the rhythm/production are extremely super great, like a James Murphy album. The vocals take a back seat to clever mixtures of house, disco, & techno grooves, and the influence of Junior Boys' Jeremy Greenspan is clear. For a dance record, this album seems like it would be kind of hard to dance to, but what do I know about the disco?
8. Of Montreal--False Priest
Of Montreal has been transsexual front man Georgie Fruit's band for years now, and it's feeling a bit dated on the dance floor. The production is great on this record, the sound is awesome, but a lot of the songs are about weird sex crap (still), and Kevin Barnes is still singing in that she-male falsetto he loves so much. Although the record starts off bright & quick and gay, it grows darker by the end (still gay), and the songs quickly improve. I hope Of Montreal's direction changes soon, but I'll be just fine if they don't.
7. Field Music--Measure
This record is too sweet. Progressive rock at its crisp, clean best. The album feels strange at first because the songs are a bit bare-boned (no musical hills or valleys, no bells or whistles,) but the rhythms and changes keep the listener entertained. I can't wait to see their live show.
6. Tame Impala--Innerspeaker
These stadium rock revivalists would certainly blend into the crowd, since every Australian band since AC/DC is jumping on the classic rock bandwagon (Jet Wolfmother Vines) these days. What most separates Tame Impala is their singer, who floats his John Lennon-like melodies over pounding drums, effected guitars, and running bass. The music is simple enough, but that sprinkle of psychedelia fits perfectly with his voice, and the package is a success. Not a lot of lyrical substance, but a solid album none the less.
5. Beach House--Teen Dream
One of my most listened-to albums of the year. Beach House has crafted their sound to perfection: Shimmering guitar lines, cymbal waves, and the smoky vocals of Victoria Legrand, floating effortlessly in a dreamy haze. This is their best work to date. Instant classics pop out, but the whole record is equally inviting and rewarding. No missteps here.
4. Deerhunter--Halcyon Digest
With so many projects at once, Deerhunter's front man Bradford Cox should be unconscious by now. A non-stop recording machine, Cox fiddles with song structures, instruments, and musical styles, under either his solo name Atlas Sound, or with Deerhunter (his day job). This time around he broke into the instrument closet, using banjo, auto-harp, electronic percussion, and harmonicas, to name a few. Unlike before, the vocals take center stage, and the result is a masterpiece.
3. Local Natives--Gorilla Manor
The first thing that drew me to this group was their ability to sing. They are the best possible version of a boy band, with all the harmonies and none of the dancing, and their vocals are outdone only by their songwriting. The lyrics and changes seem expertly considered, and there is a maturity to their music that impresses me a lot. The Talking Heads cover was unnecessary, but the record leaves me wanting more.
2. Sufjan Stevens--The Age of Adz
The 25-minute closer "Impossible Soul," from The Age of Adz is better than most of the albums of 2010, and it's not even the best song on a record about a paranoid schizophrenic (and self proclaimed profit) from Louisiana. Even with the era of the CD passed, Stevens sticks to the formula of telling a great story over the course of an entire album, requiring time and focus from the listener. Acoustic picking has been replaced with space noises and electro-drum beats, and Stevens' whispering vocals seem louder than ever, though he does revert back to his quieter sound a few times during the record. In a year full of big name disappointments (Band of Horses, Broken Bells, School of Seven Bells, etc.), Stevens exceeds even the highest of expectations.
1. LCD Soundsystem-- This Is Happening
It's fun to witness to the evolution of James Murphy. He is beginning to take the whole superstar thing seriously, though his music has always been great. As usual, the new record is a bleeding heart waiting to explode, and his regret is our delight. Who knew that someone could grow so wise eating E and dancing for 20 years? He teaches us life lessons while staying lovable with self deprecation, and don't forget about the monstrous beats and pristine production that Murphy has perfected over the years. On TIH Murphy proves himself as a top-level vocalist, a brilliant composer, and one hell of a philosopher. More please.
10. Surfer Blood--Astro Coast
A very hooky, easy to like surf album (sounds like a young Weezer.) The lyrics are ok if lacking substance, but the songs don't call for poetry. The melodies are familiarly memorable, and the sweet strat riffs though simple, are solid. From a band that existed for barely a year at the time of this release, Astro Coast screams confidence without a whisper of arrogance.
9. Caribou--Swim
Dan Snaith (Caribou) wanted to make music that sounded like water, so he did, and as it turns out, water sounds a little depressed. The record has a melancholy feel to it, like a James Murphy album, and the rhythm/production are extremely super great, like a James Murphy album. The vocals take a back seat to clever mixtures of house, disco, & techno grooves, and the influence of Junior Boys' Jeremy Greenspan is clear. For a dance record, this album seems like it would be kind of hard to dance to, but what do I know about the disco?
8. Of Montreal--False Priest
Of Montreal has been transsexual front man Georgie Fruit's band for years now, and it's feeling a bit dated on the dance floor. The production is great on this record, the sound is awesome, but a lot of the songs are about weird sex crap (still), and Kevin Barnes is still singing in that she-male falsetto he loves so much. Although the record starts off bright & quick and gay, it grows darker by the end (still gay), and the songs quickly improve. I hope Of Montreal's direction changes soon, but I'll be just fine if they don't.
7. Field Music--Measure
This record is too sweet. Progressive rock at its crisp, clean best. The album feels strange at first because the songs are a bit bare-boned (no musical hills or valleys, no bells or whistles,) but the rhythms and changes keep the listener entertained. I can't wait to see their live show.
6. Tame Impala--Innerspeaker
These stadium rock revivalists would certainly blend into the crowd, since every Australian band since AC/DC is jumping on the classic rock bandwagon (Jet Wolfmother Vines) these days. What most separates Tame Impala is their singer, who floats his John Lennon-like melodies over pounding drums, effected guitars, and running bass. The music is simple enough, but that sprinkle of psychedelia fits perfectly with his voice, and the package is a success. Not a lot of lyrical substance, but a solid album none the less.
5. Beach House--Teen Dream
One of my most listened-to albums of the year. Beach House has crafted their sound to perfection: Shimmering guitar lines, cymbal waves, and the smoky vocals of Victoria Legrand, floating effortlessly in a dreamy haze. This is their best work to date. Instant classics pop out, but the whole record is equally inviting and rewarding. No missteps here.
4. Deerhunter--Halcyon Digest
With so many projects at once, Deerhunter's front man Bradford Cox should be unconscious by now. A non-stop recording machine, Cox fiddles with song structures, instruments, and musical styles, under either his solo name Atlas Sound, or with Deerhunter (his day job). This time around he broke into the instrument closet, using banjo, auto-harp, electronic percussion, and harmonicas, to name a few. Unlike before, the vocals take center stage, and the result is a masterpiece.
3. Local Natives--Gorilla Manor
The first thing that drew me to this group was their ability to sing. They are the best possible version of a boy band, with all the harmonies and none of the dancing, and their vocals are outdone only by their songwriting. The lyrics and changes seem expertly considered, and there is a maturity to their music that impresses me a lot. The Talking Heads cover was unnecessary, but the record leaves me wanting more.
2. Sufjan Stevens--The Age of Adz
The 25-minute closer "Impossible Soul," from The Age of Adz is better than most of the albums of 2010, and it's not even the best song on a record about a paranoid schizophrenic (and self proclaimed profit) from Louisiana. Even with the era of the CD passed, Stevens sticks to the formula of telling a great story over the course of an entire album, requiring time and focus from the listener. Acoustic picking has been replaced with space noises and electro-drum beats, and Stevens' whispering vocals seem louder than ever, though he does revert back to his quieter sound a few times during the record. In a year full of big name disappointments (Band of Horses, Broken Bells, School of Seven Bells, etc.), Stevens exceeds even the highest of expectations.
1. LCD Soundsystem-- This Is Happening
It's fun to witness to the evolution of James Murphy. He is beginning to take the whole superstar thing seriously, though his music has always been great. As usual, the new record is a bleeding heart waiting to explode, and his regret is our delight. Who knew that someone could grow so wise eating E and dancing for 20 years? He teaches us life lessons while staying lovable with self deprecation, and don't forget about the monstrous beats and pristine production that Murphy has perfected over the years. On TIH Murphy proves himself as a top-level vocalist, a brilliant composer, and one hell of a philosopher. More please.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Blog Post
Here is something funny that happened to me today. I am at work by myself, and I haven't seen anyone in hours (we are extremely slow.) Pretty funny huh? No wait there's more, but first some background:
At work, I often play the Iphone game "Angry Birds"...While sitting on the toilet. I don't make trips to the bathroom for phone games, but I take any opportunity to maximize my time. I only do it when we are slow, and I'm never in there for more than 5 or 10 minutes.
OK so I'm in the bathroom playing my game, and I'm having trouble with a certain level. I can't beat it, and I am getting angry about it. I'm yelling, "Shit! Come on! Damn! How is that possible? What the hell?"-stuff like that. I finally walk out of the bathroom, and there's an old Asian man standing there, looking horrified.
The front door at my work has a bell on the handle, so I usually can hear when someone enters, but this guy was so old & small that he probably crept in too slowly to disturb the alarm. Not until after he was gone did I realize what he heard, and what he must've thought was going on in there.
At work, I often play the Iphone game "Angry Birds"...While sitting on the toilet. I don't make trips to the bathroom for phone games, but I take any opportunity to maximize my time. I only do it when we are slow, and I'm never in there for more than 5 or 10 minutes.
OK so I'm in the bathroom playing my game, and I'm having trouble with a certain level. I can't beat it, and I am getting angry about it. I'm yelling, "Shit! Come on! Damn! How is that possible? What the hell?"-stuff like that. I finally walk out of the bathroom, and there's an old Asian man standing there, looking horrified.
The front door at my work has a bell on the handle, so I usually can hear when someone enters, but this guy was so old & small that he probably crept in too slowly to disturb the alarm. Not until after he was gone did I realize what he heard, and what he must've thought was going on in there.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Midterm Erection
What exactly did we lose (as individuals or as a country) since Obama took over as President? Now everyone wants to take our country back--from what? You still have the biggest military in the world. You still have outright religious freedom (unless you are a Muslim), and you still have all those high-powered, semi-automatic weapons that you keep hidden in different & weird spots of your house...so tell me. WHAT?
Election day was Tuesday, and the voters spoke: They are angry that Obama didn't turn a shit storm into gold bullion overnight. They blame his administration for the economic recession (that was being caused by GOP-legislated deregulation even before Obama became a Senator.)
They are misinformed and confused.
In the modern world of instant information, you don't have to be a political scientist to make your opinion known to the world, and obviously the public can't tell the difference between an idiot & a reliable source. Fear-based politics have become the norm, and the more outlandish the lies, the more the happily ignorant people eat it up. It's a fucking circus. Until Americans get over themselves and realize that politics isn't just some boring, complicated waste of time, we must prepare for a minority to decide what is best for the majority. A minority who is misinformed, and confused.
Election day was Tuesday, and the voters spoke: They are angry that Obama didn't turn a shit storm into gold bullion overnight. They blame his administration for the economic recession (that was being caused by GOP-legislated deregulation even before Obama became a Senator.)
They are misinformed and confused.
In the modern world of instant information, you don't have to be a political scientist to make your opinion known to the world, and obviously the public can't tell the difference between an idiot & a reliable source. Fear-based politics have become the norm, and the more outlandish the lies, the more the happily ignorant people eat it up. It's a fucking circus. Until Americans get over themselves and realize that politics isn't just some boring, complicated waste of time, we must prepare for a minority to decide what is best for the majority. A minority who is misinformed, and confused.
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